While writing a novel about a girl searching for her birth mother, this author had no idea her own story was about to take a similar turn, triggered by a phone call she never expected.
Stefany Valentine never imagined she would one day embrace the woman she believed had disappeared from her life forever. But long before boarding a flight to Asia to reconnect with her birth mother, her life had already been shaped by separation, silence, and resilience.
Born in Texas to her mother, Meiling, and father, Lt. Col. Todd Merrill Valentine, Stefany was one of five children in a biracial family that frequently relocated due to her father’s military career.
Her earliest memories were rooted in Taiwan, Texas, and South Dakota. But everything changed when she was five years old. After her parents divorced, Todd took custody of the children and moved them back to the United States.
Meiling, who spoke no English and lacked financial resources or work experience, was left behind. Stefany later learned that her mother had been completely cut off from their lives. While growing up, Stefany was told Meiling had “neglected” the children and was even “dangerous” — claims she would later come to question.
All these years later, Stefany says she doesn’t take sides when thinking about what happened between her parents. “All of the resources that my dad had, my mom didn’t,” Stefany said. She reflected that part of the misunderstanding may have come from cultural differences, as she doesn’t remember “feeling neglected” in Taiwan.
After the move, Stefany’s family distanced themselves from their Taiwanese roots. “It was ‘Go to school, speak English, assimilate, we’re not doing that anymore,'” she recalled. “And I think that was that. Losing a mother is one thing — and then losing your culture.”
Growing up Without Answers
Life in America brought new upheaval. When Stefany was eight, her father remarried. She became part of a blended household with four step-siblings. Then, in 2006, another life-altering event occurred — her father died of colon cancer. Cindy, her stepmother, adopted Stefany and her siblings, becoming the sole parent to nine children.
During this period, Stefany battled depression and began to process years of unresolved grief.
The loss of her father brought buried emotions back to the surface, compounding the pain of losing her mother. At home, tensions ran high — Stefany recalled being kicked out for speaking up or challenging authority.
Throughout high school, she lived with extended family and only returned home for her senior year. Despite the distance and uncertainty, she held onto one unanswered question: What had become of her mother? “The need to know has always been there,” she admitted.
Writing Her Way to Belonging
While struggling academically, especially with English as her second language, Stefany found escape through imagination. “I spent a lot of time daydreaming,” she explained. “And I think that’s ultimately what also led me down the path to becoming an author is because to this day, I am just constantly daydreaming.”
On social media, she reflected on her early aspirations, “Ever since I was a kid, I’ve dreamt about being an author… I was in 4th grade flunking out of class because English was my 2nd language and I was so far behind everyone else in my grade.”
Stefany spent over a decade pursuing publication, facing more than 500 rejections across seven failed manuscripts. Her breakthrough came with her contribution to the young adult book “When We Become Ours,” a collection of stories centered on adoptee experiences.
“To see an entire community of people who have similar feelings and similar traumas and complicated backgrounds and everything, I was like, ‘Where have you guys been my entire life?'” she said. “I felt like I was trying to farm some land with my bare hands and they were like, ‘Here’s a hoe.’ Like — oh, cool, I can actually get to work now.”
That support inspired her to reshape her manuscript into a deeply personal novel. The result was “First Love Language,” her debut, which was released in January 2025. The story follows Taiwanese American teen Catie Carlson as she searches for her cultural identity and her birth mother, mirroring Stefany’s own life in fiction.
The Call That Changed Everything
While Stefany poured herself into the novel, she had quietly let go of the idea that she would ever reunite with Meiling. Years of fruitless searching — including attempts through genealogical databases and visits to psychics — had led her to believe her mother had died. Then, on New Year’s Eve 2023, a call changed everything.
“My sister-in-law calls me and is like, ‘There’s a Taiwanese lady in our Mormon church, and she grew up with your mom, and she’s going to find her for you,'” Stefany recalled.
Soon after, she and her siblings reconnected with Meiling via text. While some of her siblings hesitated, Stefany’s desire to reunite was unwavering. Cindy, her adoptive mother, helped arrange the trip. “I think she understood how much it meant to me,” Stefany said. “She provided us the flight and everything, because she works with Delta.”
As the reunion neared, Stefany was filled with anticipation. “It was like Christmas, when you’re going to bed and you’re like, ‘I’m going to get to open the presents tomorrow?’ It was very much that for weeks leading up to it, just like, ‘One day closer. One day closer,'” she shared.
Reunion in Taiwan
In August 2024, Stefany arrived at Taiwan Taoyuan International Airport. There, after 25 years, she saw Meiling again. “I was wondering if I would recognize her in a crowd, and I did,” she said. “It was just so good to hug her for the first time. I needed that hug.”
The physical similarities between them were striking. Stefany had long felt she looked “really White,” especially compared to her siblings, but seeing Meiling for the first time changed that. The resemblance was undeniable. “I was just like, ‘Dude, we look like twins,'” she said, adding that it wasn’t about race — “just the exact same features.”
Meiling and Stefany pose together in front of a vibrant backdrop, smiling side by side after 25 years apart. | Source: Instagram/booksbystefany
Meiling saw it too. “The first time I saw Stefany at the airport, I was shocked because she was no longer the cute little girl I often dreamed of. She had grown up and looked so much like me, which touched me,” she explained.
For two weeks, the mother and daughter made new memories—hiking, exploring street markets, spending a night in an aquarium, and celebrating Meiling’s birthday. Stefany recalled how her mom reacted to that experience, “She was like, ‘This is the best birthday I’ve had in 20 years.'”
Stefany and Meiling during a day out in Taiwan, captured mid-walk and mid-wave. | Source: Instagram/booksbystefany
On Instagram, Stefany posted highlights from her trip, including a photo taken at Taoyuan Airport where she held a copy of “First Love Language.”
In the caption, she invited followers to swipe through and see the moment she reunited with her birth mother after 25 years, wondering whether it was fate or coincidence that she found her while releasing a novel about an adoptee on a similar journey.
Another meaningful stop was Taipei 101 — a place neither Stefany nor Meiling had ever visited. In a gift shop, Stefany noticed a necklace with the Chinese character 愛, meaning “love,” the same symbol featured on her book’s cover. She bought it immediately.
Those joyful moments marked a turning point in their reconnection, but an even more delicate reunion was still ahead.
Meeting the Women Who Raised Stefany
Partway through the trip, Stefany was joined by Cindy, bringing together the two maternal figures who had shaped her life in different ways.
“We got hot pot together,” Stefany said. “I was like, ‘Oh, please be civil with each other. I hope there’s no anger.’ I think for Meiling, she was very much like, ‘You raised my kids. Thank you for that. I appreciate that,’ and I think Cindy was very like, ‘Well, you gave birth to my daughter, so thank you for that.’ I think it was just this handshake, this unspoken handshake that they had for each other.”
The moment brought Stefany a sense of closure and healing. “It was a good way to bury or to begin burying a lot of the past, make peace with what is and not what should be, that sort of thing,” she remarked.
Stefany is speaking candidly from her car in a video clip posted to social media. | Source: TikTok.com/booksbystefany
Her visit to Taiwan reignited a desire to reconnect with her roots, leading Stefany to pursue Mandarin studies. She applied to Chung Yuan University and was accepted, with plans to start in the fall. She shared that her book advance from First Love Language is now helping cover her tuition, calling the moment “so full circle.”
As her personal story came full circle, Stefany began sharing it more openly, and the response was immediate.
Full Circle — And Forward
Online, the response to her story was overwhelmingly emotional. “Just read and BAWLING 😍 So happy your story is being shared!” wrote one fan.
Another commented, “😍😍😍😍yaaas Stefany!!! So amazing! My heart is bursting for you!!!” Someone else echoed the sentiment, “That’s so amazing! Your story is incredible 🫂,” while a fourth exclaimed, “So happy for you!”
Now, Stefany is planning the next chapter. She hopes to help her siblings reconnect with Meiling and to continue elevating adoptee voices through her work. Most of all, she intends to write a memoir that honors both her own experience and her mother’s.
“I want to write a memoir, for sure,” she revealed. “But this memoir, I want it to also be her memoir and I want to be able to tell her story and all the complexities of it as well as I can in addition to writing my story.”
For someone once told her mother had died, Stefany now embraces every moment of their second chance. “I’ve already lost her. … And I don’t want regrets,” she said. “Very rarely do people get a second chance like I’m getting.”
